Quarantined woman discovers cat is secretly running a business

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY — Social Distancing – it’s that thing that everyone should be doing, but from a good look at a Walmart parking lot, isn’t.

Those who were anointed with the title of “essential” have to work so Karens have people to yell at about peppers. But what about the people who are doing their best to make sure grandma isn’t sacrificed to the COVID-19 gods?

Mae Turcotte is an accountant. Like many people, she is working from home. But having now been home 24/7, Turcotte says she’s noticed something unusual.

“I noticed that my cat Steven was acting weird,” says Turcotte. “Between 9 and 5 I didn’t see him. Every other time of the day, he would just sit and stare at me.”

Soon, Turcotte discovered in her crawlspace a mini office, complete with a computer and a picture of a cat. Upon further inspection, she discovered that her cat Steven is actually secretly a business cat.

“I don’t know how this could have happened,” says a rattled Turcotte. “All this time Steven has been the CFO of the Canadian branch of Disney. Did I do something wrong? Did I do something right? It’s really hard to tell.”

CFO Steven

Self-quarantine can be a wonderful opportunity to learn more about yourself and the ones you love. You can use this extra time to read books you always wanted to or learn an instrument.

But for Mae Turcotte, isolation has left her with more questions than answers. How is Steven being paid? Who made his tiny computer and keyboard? When did he go from regular house cat to Chief Financial Officer for Disney?

“I just don’t know anymore,” sighs Turcotte. “Maybe it’s because I named him Steven. That is a very business-like name. I’m a little upset that he has a better job than I do.”

“But what really bothers me is that I’m still paying for Disney+.”

Feel free to share!