CONFIRMED: United Nations sent troops to Ottawa using North Bay airport

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY – It’s no conspiracy – The United Nations has sent troops to Ottawa via the Jack Garland Airport.

After a YouTube video surfaced showing several white Bombardier CRJ series airplanes with a large “UN” painted on them, United Nations representative Sharon Peters confirmed that the multinational organization had sent 32 troops to Ottawa.

“It was a four hour trip from North Bay to Ottawa, with bad weather to contend with,” explains Peters. “But luckily for everyone, all of the troops arrived in time for their assignment.”

“An assignment which they succeeded in, I might add” smiles Peters.

Far Reaching Powers Used

The unprecedented use of the United Nation’s power will have some questioning the organisation’s actions, but Peters says no one should be worried.

“We value peace above all else,” says Peters. “The UN’s purpose is to “aim for the settlement of international disputes or situations which might lead to a breach of the peace.”

“That’s exactly why we needed to send the troops in green to Ottawa.”

Troop Victory

“You see, it’s a little known fact that Prime Ministers Sanna Marin of Denmark and Mette Frederiksen of Finland are huge fans of Ontario Hockey.”

“Marin cheers for the 67s while Frederiksen is a big Battalion fan, so when they heard that The North Bay Battalion might not be able to get to Ottawa on February 20th for their game due to bad weather, they asked if the UN wouldn’t lend a hand.”

“Personally, I’m a Mississauga Steelheads girl, but it was a favour easily done.”

The 32-man North Bay Battalion, led by top troops Brandon Coe and Ty Nelson, faced the Ottawa 67’s that night and won, 6-2.

“Now Sanna owes Marin a case of Koff Poter,” laughs Peters. “And The Battalion are 2nd in the league.”

“But they’re still #2 to my beloved Steelheads.”

“Suck on that, Finland!”

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