From: Darren D. MacDonald and Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
NORTH BAY — In their race to compete with the free transportation supplied by North Bay Transit and the looming threat of independent rideshares like Uride, U-Need-A-Cab has accidentally created North Bay’s very own version of Tinder.
“I heard they [U-Need-A-Cab] had a new app,” explains a user who wishes to remain anonymous. “So I added it and signed up. I uploaded a picture of myself because they asked for one to help drivers spot their passengers.”
“Next thing I know, it’s showing me pictures of other riders in the city the same way Tinder shows dates. I thought it was a joke, so I just started swiping.”
“Fast forward forty minutes and me and this guy Rob are sharing a U-Need-A-Cab. The cab is clean, the fare is reasonable, and the destination is 100% Pound Town.”
Lead programmer Sam Bernie says this is not how the app was designed.
“I honestly don’t know what happened. It’s a simple enough program. What it’s supposed to do is give each U-Need-A-Cab car an ID number and then pair it with a user ID number before marking the car as ‘busy.’”
“But instead, what it’s doing is allowing users to match their IDs with other IDs. Not just that, it’s letting those users match up with one user, or two users, or more before ordering a U-Need-A-Cab to come pick them all up!”
Best In Years
While creating a cab dating service was clearly not the aim of the app, U-Need-A-Cab owner and operator John Strang is in no rush to fix it.
“This is the best we’ve done in years!” yells an ecstatic Strang. “We’ve tripled our daily intake and the rides are longer than ever before!”
“Yes, the drivers have to sanitize everything now, but we were going to do that anyway with COVID. With this app, we’re making tons of money and lonely isolated people are meeting and enjoying themselves in the safety of a fully licensed, properly lubricated U-Need-A-Cab.”
But will the app endure once COVID passes?
“You bet,” smiles Strang. “We’ve got repeat customers now, and things just keep getting bigger and better.”
“Last week there was a full 9 person masked orgy in one of the vans. Now, I know the program isn’t working exactly how it should be, but the app did get something right – it correctly marked that van as ‘full to capacity’ and as very, very ‘busy.’”