From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
ONTARIO — A convoy of miniature cars is following the ongoing “Freedom Convoy” in a bid to restore the rights of Circus Clowns.
“Clowning was once first-rate entertainment for families,” explains Tiny Car Convoy organiser BooBoo. “But over the last 60 years, the government has continued to place cruel restrictions on us.”
“It’s gotten to the point where a clown can’t cartwheel without a warrant. And we’ve had enough.”
BooBoo’s Clown Convoy is made up of 6 cars and over 200 clowns.
“That’s an average of 33 clowns per car, which ought to show you how serious we are.”
Clown Complaints
Among the clown’s complaints are the Federal Government’s restrictions on the treatment of exotic animals, and child labour laws.
“They mandated that we can’t use small children in our cannons anymore,” says BooBoo. “Which is Grade ‘A’ baloney.”
“Everyone knows that kid’s bones are basically cartilage, which makes them really good at surviving falls.”
Media Circus
BooBoo says that he and his 200 clowns have been misrepresented in the media.
“Every time there’s a post about The Clown Convoy, there’s people saying that our protest is dumb, or disruptive, or that they’re scared of clowns.”
“People are only scared of clowns because the media has made them scared of clowns.”
But the biggest hurdle has come from the police enforcing safe driving laws.
“They are trying to make us wear seatbelts but no car has 37 seatbelts.”
“The government may think that they’re trying to help us, but we’re clowns and we know better.”