Urgent Report: Canada Geese Have Attacked Downtown!

From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY – North Bay Bay field reporter Rooster Cogburn is reporting that a gang of ferocious Canada geese have terrorized the city’s downtown. The gang of violent birds were originally spotted lurking around Memorial Drive. After several residents lost cats and small dogs under suspicious circumstances, […]

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Gigantic uranium-powered snow lizard attacks North Bay wharf

From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY — The King’s Landing Wharf has been partially destroyed thanks to a giant ice monster. The 60 foot tall “snow lizard” rose from the depths of Lake Nipissing Wednesday morning and “broke the dock like a campaign promise” says eyewitness Bishop “Two Teeth” Bradley.  “Oh […]

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Pressure crack consumes The Boat

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — A pressure crack which had formed off the side of King’s Landing Wharf opened last night and consumed The Boat. The original Chief Commanda sunk suddenly into the icy waters of Lake Nipissing sometime around 1 am today, leaving only the bow visible. Eyewitness Rooster Cogburn was […]

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Local seagulls stoked to hear about new Burger King

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — A recently announced new Burger King location in North Bay has the local seagull population cawing with joy. Somewhere between 200 and 4000 seagulls are “incredibly excited” to hear that the franchise is returning to the city, says a spokesman for the birds. The Seagull King, […]

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