Ontario Courts introduces new “Catch and Release Punch Card”

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff ONTARIO – Local police are getting free ice cream. The Court of Ontario has approved the creation and distribution of a “Catch and Release Free Prize Punch Card” to each police officer in the province. The card, which is punched every time an officer arrests a suspect who is […]

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Local man tries (and fails) to negotiate with intruding spider

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Peter Jameson recently called the cops when negotiations with a spider in his house fell apart. The day progressed like any other day, with Jameson watching TV for ungodly long periods.  “I sat on the other couch, you know, to switch things up, and I saw it,” recounts Jameson. […]

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“Boxer Rebellion” – Underwear robbers plague North Bay

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY – The North Bay Police are asking the public not to panic following a string of “copycat robberies” which have featured robbers wearing underwear on their heads. North Bay Police Inspector Calvin Hanes presided over a short briefing on the robberies Saturday afternoon. “I can confirm that […]

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Police, inmates happy with “Snitches Get Bitches” program

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY – In attempts to gather more information from inmates, The North Bay Police have launched a campaign that will take the nation (and possibly the world) by storm! “Snitches Get Bitches.” “The idea is fairly simple,” explains Sergeant Jeanette Lawrence. “If a prisoner provides information that is valuable […]

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Will Boissoin loses all 4 of his votes

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY – Following a series of public Facebook posts in which he compared the local police to pigs, Mayoral Candidate Will Boissoin appears to have lost all 4 of his votes. “It’s a shame, really” says friend Jacob Beaucage. “Will was relying on those votes to make him feel […]

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O.P.P. orders fleet of paddleboats

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff MATTAWA – Following a high octane chase on Lake Talon which involved a paddleboat and a dog, the Mattawa O.P.P. announced early this morning that they would be ordering an entire fleet of police pursuit paddleboats. “I think our proud men and women deserve only the best,” began O.P.P. […]

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