Study Suggests Ten “Magic 8 Balls” Should Replace City Council

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY – There is nothing more ‘North Bay’ than studies that will go ignored.  Requesting “state-of-the-art math,” complete with complex algorithms and “lots of random letters where there should be numbers,” City Council commissioned a study to find new efficiencies within City Hall.   “1s and 0s don’t lie […]

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New North Bay bracelets vibrate when close to someone breaching probation

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The City of North Bay has launched a line of digital tracking devices that vibrate whenever they are close to someone breaching probation. “Breachbit,” a small watch-like device, was designed “in house” by City Council before being approved for a $2.5 million construction contract. The first five […]

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North Bay closes roads, gives city workers flying cars

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Following the 28 day closure of all public ice rinks and sliding hills in the city, North Bay is now set to close all of the city’s streets. “We feel barring access to all of the roads is the next logical step in our lockdown,” explains City […]

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Proposal: Let’s build a $50 million twin-stage theatre

Addressed to: thenorthbaybay.ca staff All the world might be a stage but North Bay should have two more of them. Since the city doesn’t seem to have an issue with spending large sums of money or openly opposed developments, please allow me to propose that we spend $50 million on a twin-stage theatre. The construction of […]

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Chris Mayne happy to win photo contest, still hoping for rescue

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — City Councillor Chris Mayne says he’s “happy” that he won a recent Baytoday photo contest, but that he’d like to be rescued now. After crashing his canoe somewhere on the shores of Wolf Lake, Councillor Mayne took a picture of his wrecked canoe and sent it […]

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