The Boat hires bouncer to throw customers into Lake Nipissing

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Don’t rock the boat baby, or you’ll get a visit from Mr. Bradley. Bishop “Two Teeth” Bradley is The Boat’s newest bouncer, but unlike the bouncers of the past he isn’t afraid to throw a man overboard. “Aye,” drawls Bradley, “ye best not be squatting on your […]

Read More »

Gigantic uranium-powered snow lizard attacks North Bay wharf

From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY — The King’s Landing Wharf has been partially destroyed thanks to a giant ice monster. The 60 foot tall “snow lizard” rose from the depths of Lake Nipissing Wednesday morning and “broke the dock like a campaign promise” says eyewitness Bishop “Two Teeth” Bradley.  “Oh […]

Read More »

Chief Commanda hijacking Crimestoppers’ ‘Crime of the Week’

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The plucky band of North Bay pirates who hijacked the Chief Commanda II and took it onto Lake Nipissing have been given a Crimestoppers ‘Crime of the Week’ award. “Y’har, this here award makes my heart swell,” says current Chief Commanda Captain Bishop ‘Two-Teeth’ Bradley. “Though truth […]

Read More »

Blanding’s turtle living in pothole stumps city workers

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — City potholes can be a nuisance, and sometimes a danger – but for one area turtle, a sizable pothole has become home. “Bertie,” a female Blanding’s turtle, has taken up residence in a pothole at the corner of Clarence St. and Jane. “‘Bertie’ is about nine […]

Read More »

Heritage Carousel launches onto Lake Nipissing, sinks

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The North Bay Heritage Carousel has been lost at sea, or rather, to Lake Nipissing. The carousel, which measures 28 feet across and boasts 18 fully carved wooden animals, broke from its cement paddock late Wednesday evening, and slid down to Lake Nipissing. There, its immense […]

Read More »