Snow Causes “Temporary Vehicular Amnesia”

From: Darren D. MacDonald,

OTTAWA — Winter. No one knows winter better than Canadians, specifically Canadians in the north. But new studies reveal a risk that could affect everyone in North Bay.

The Canadian Union of National Travel (or… nevermind) just completed a study 2 decades in the making, and the results will shock you!

“I think it was 1997: first snowfall of the year. I was on my way to the store when I was rear ended,” said Cullen Tanner, head of the Canadian Union of N.T.

“The whole way something was off. But after the accident it clicked. The person ran a stop sign and couldn’t stop in time. He was confused. He wasn’t sure what went wrong. That winter while walking to and from work, I had time to observe drivers. Simple laws and rules were seemingly forgotten. The more snow that fell, the more they forgot.”

The study refers to this phenomena as “Temporary Vehicular Amnesia” (or TVA). The study posits that as the volume of snow increases, the level of driving knowledge decreases.

Most who drive in North Bay drive in the winter every year, so it can’t be that they don’t possesses winter driving knowledge. But the study published by the C.U. of National Travel says that knowledge may not always be enough.

“The study points to the cause: the snow. Unfortunately, we can only connect the dots between snow and the TVA. What it is about the snow that makes people forget? Beats us. Maybe it’s the fluffy nature of it.”

So next time you get in your car and drive too fast, break too late, run that stop sign, or don’t take the weather into account this winter, don’t worry – it’s not your fault. It’s the snow’s fault. No matter how much experience you have driving in the winter, it will never be your fault.

But Cullen, of the Canadian U.N.T. says that every bit helps, especially winterizing your car.

“Warm your car up. Clear all the windows so you can see. And for pity’s sake, buy some winter tires.”

“Really, don’t even get me started on the CUNTS that refuse to invest in some winter tires.”

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