Despite Horrific Blood Portal, Science Fair a Success

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

The first ever North Bay Science Fair was deemed a “resounding success” after a group of high school students came together to defeat an ancient, other-worldly evil.

Hosted at Nipissing University on November 18th and 19th, the North Bay Science Fair saw high school students meet with some of Canada’s leading scientific minds to talk about engineering, biology, chemistry, astrology, physics, and robotics.

“It was just an incredible experience,” gushed Chippewa student Jenn Pierce. “I met some aeronautical engineers from Concordia and a really cool biochemist from York. Really, aside from the gaping cosmic blood portal of Yog-Sothoth, it was a lot of fun.”

Key speakers included Eric Ryeson from McGill University who spoke about the intestinal bacteria of reptiles on the Krakatau Islands; Sieraa Nancy from McKeznie College whose lecture entitled “The Hierarchical Vector Field Method for Wheeled Mobile Robots” was a smash hit; and City Councillor Tanya Vrebosch who presented a report called “The Ever Ephemeral Ideal: Avoiding Remonstrance when Allocating Insufficient Funds for Winter Road Maintenance.”

It was midway through Councillor Vrebosch’s report when Widdifield student Vincent Aquarius discovered the quickly growing cosmic doorway.

“I heard this low chanting, like hundreds of people singing Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!, or you know, something like that, and then there it was. Right behind the pop machine. A horrific blood portal.”

“And I thought – well, that’s not good. I wanted a Sprite.”

Attempts by the organisers to close loathsome gate, whose very existence tested the will of all present, failed. The cyclopedic crimson maw grew in size until its abnormal girth swallowed the entire gym wall.

“Then it ate the pop machine,” Vincent explains. “And some people too.”

The Blasphemous Gate

Taken aback, many fled from the portal’s loathsome countenance, and more were driven mad when from out of the portal stepped a nameless, ancient horror.

“It looked just like Jay Aspin,” says Widdifield student Fiona Smith. “A perfect copy. A hideous but wholly accurate copy.”

Witnesses claim that the Eldritch Aspin began to moan and sway, making unintelligible sounds.

“All I could make out was the word ‘Rota’ and a whole lot of angry wailing.”

It was at this point that two West Ferris students, Liz Evvie and Courtney Phebe came to the group’s rescue.

Armed with a makeshift torch, a book of incantations, and their steeled and singular minds, Liz and Courtney drove the screaming, fetid Jay Aspin back into the swarthy gullet.

“And then it was just gone” says Jenn Pierce. “The whole thing folded up on itself like the promise of free Wifi.”

Fiona Smith knows she’ll never forget that day.

“That horrible Aspin-esque abomination was a heinous, accursed visage. But the lecturers were really cool, and I got to play with a robot.”

“All in all, not a bad day.”

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