North Bay residents delighted to receive free Epoch Times

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY — Citizens are being treated to an unexpected surprise in their mailbox this week: a free copy of The Epoch Times.

The Epoch Times, which describes itself as “an award-winning global media outlet that offers important news coverage” but is instead a publication that creates fake sock puppet accounts and knowingly spreads debunked conspiracy theories is still a very useful fuel source.

“The Epoch Times might be published in 26 countries and 22 languages but it burns the same in all of them,” says free Times recipient and local wood burner Jeff Jaspers. “I’m heating with wood and this paper saved me from having to buy a North Bay Nugget.”

“Please send more.”

Other Uses

Others were quick to point out that The Epoch Times deserves to be more than just kindling for a wood stove.

“I made mine into a nice hat!” says long-time resident Jess Perkins. “My kids rolled the rest of it up and made fun pirate swords.”

“Thanks Epoch Times! Your reporting may be wholly untrustworthy, but it’s printed on some good quality paper.”

An Epoch Game

Elsewhere, college students Francis Seguin and Karla Yu says they’ve made the most of their free Epoch Times by developing a drinking game.

“It’s simple, every time you read the words ‘China,’ ‘communism,’ ‘plot,’ ‘globalist,’ ‘regime,’ or ‘subversive’ you take a drink,” explains Yu.

“If you find a piece about ‘traditional values’ then you have to do a shot, and if you read an editorial blaming women for ruining something you finish your drink.’

Seguin clumsily nods.

“We’re about a 3rd of the way through the paper and I’m plastered.”

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