Teachers react to “fearmongering” redundancy letters delivered by carrier pigeon

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca

NORTH BAY — Notices of “Redundancies” have been handed out to 114 Near North District School Board teachers. This means that after the end of the 2018-2019 school year, those teachers are expected to lose their jobs.

The teachers were informed by carrier pigeon, who delivered personally addressed letters to each teacher labelled “redundant”. When we tried to get an interview from a pigeon, it just cooed, defecated on the ground, and strutted around like it owned the place. The pigeon is expected to run for Mayor in the next Municipal election.

Don Robins was one of the teachers affected by the redundancy letters.

“It’s hard, you know,” says Robins. “I’ve been teaching at Widdifield for the last 2 years. This was my first big job after College! It got my life on track. I got my first apartment: a one bedroom, half bathroom, that used to be an elderly couple’s basement.”

Preposterous Fearmongering

While the letters have brought stories like Robins’ to the forefront, Local MPP Vic Fedeli thinks teachers are overreacting.

“These claims are preposterous!” spouted Fedeli. “It’s nothing but plain and simple… Fearmongering!”

Fedeli paused for applause, even though the room stayed silent.

“I understand that some teachers are getting all upset over the recent letters saying that they will no longer have a job, but I am here to tell you that despite the board that currently employs you telling you that you will be fired, there will be no job losses.”

Greg Sloan, a NNDSB teacher, disagrees with Fedeli.

“I think Fedeli AND the Ford government is straight up lying to us,” says Sloan. “When addressing the teachers in the room, Vic kept referring to us as ‘Redundant Ones. I would raise my hand and he would say: ‘Yes, question from the Redundant One in the back?’.”

“It’s like, we are showing him the letters saying we are basically fired and he looks at us in the eye and shouts ‘Fearmongering!’ then walks to the next teacher, with layoff notice in hand, and shouts in their face as well.”

Drastic Measures

Teachers are staying strong and holding a unified message, but their “Education is Important” mantra seems to be falling on deaf ears with the Ford Government, which has decreased funding per student.

“I don’t know what I am going to do,” says Robins. “Unless something drastic happens, I am out of a job. I’ll have to either move out of North Bay to pursue teaching somewhere else or, like… Breaking Bad it.”

“I subbed for a Grade 12 business class for a week when the original teacher was sick, and I think some of that could carry over and help my chemistry degree. It’s not the sort of thing I want to do, but if I have to I will. After all, Ontario is ‘a place to grow,’ right?”

“Wait, do you ‘grow’ meth? I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out.”

The North Bay Bay will stay up to date with this story as it progresses.

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