Redbridge begins bottling new “Redbridge Dry”

From: Philip St. George, staff

Can you drink Redbridge Dry?

Entrepreneur and “proud Redbridge resident” Fred Preston wants you to.

“Well, Redbridge Dry is a little ale I just kinda cooked up one day,” explains Preston. “I’d say it’s got a real particular flavour that most local folks’ll like. S’bout as dry as a frog in April, but don’t nobody seem to mind.”

Preston explains that everything that goes into the new pop comes from inside the small township.

“The water is drawn directly from the North River using one big bastard of a tube, and the sugar I use comes from Mrs. Nesbitt down on Songis.”

“Damned if I know where she gets it from, though.”

Redbridge Rallying

Preston says the community has rallied behind the new soft drink.

“For the first little bit there I was making so much that I didn’t have anywhere to put it,” reveals Blanchard. “My house and garage were wetter than an otter’s pocket. It was like that I needed a boat to go to bed.”

“But then old Bill down off Knox came and gave me prit’near 500 old bottles he’d been keeping underneath his house. Now the operation’s moving faster than a scalded cat.”

Green Ale

Recycling and “staying green” is a big part of Redbridge Dry.

“We’re recycling old bottles and cans and jars and jugs and are giving them a good rinse when we can do it,” says Preston. “You know, now that I’m thinking, the pop itself is kinda a greeny colour so that’s gotta count for something.”

Preston says “Redbridge Dry” is just one of many “fine as fish fur” drinks that he’s been making.

Other brews now being bottled include Callander Drink, which is actually just unfiltered water from Trout Creek, and Pop-wassan, which tastes like “pure and unfiltered local gossip.”

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