Opinion: This Bird Needs to Shut the F__k up!

Addressed to: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

Birds singing songs is as natural as humans breathing.  The act of them singing their song is to mark territories and to find a mate.  It’s beautiful; it’s nature; and it needs to shut the f██k up!

Every morning I try to wake up and this little chirping a█████ keeps making SOOO many g██████ damn noises; right outside my window!  I didn’t pay this much for a house for this s███, and I’d like that bird to respect it! 

I’ve tried everything.  I’ve put up f█████g signs, but this aviary a██████s ignores them!  Is there no respect in this f██████g world anymore.  I’ve applied to the municipality to get a giant mesh screening around my house but they turned it down!  Hazard to the surrounding community my a██!

What I want is for the city to get off their a████ and do something about this f█████g flying d███!  Outlaw him or put him on a bus headed to Toronto or something.  Just anything so I can wake up to nothing but the sound of traffic and my neighbours yelling at each other with their kitchen window open.  

But at least I won’t have to hear the annoying sound of that g█████n f██████g chirping.  

Sincerely,

████ you, that’s who!

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