From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
OTTAWA — The Order of Ontario has announced the addition of three more appointments for 2019 and 2020 – two squirrels and an old seat cushion.
“It’s with great pride and distinction that the Order of Ontario recognizes those who have contributed to the shaping of our province,” reads a statement from Elizabeth Dowdeswell, the Lieutenant Governor of Ontario. “I am personally elated to announce the appointment of two grey squirrels and a tattered plaid seat cushion.”
Dowdeswell did not say which squirrels.
The move was widely lauded as “bold,” “innovative,” and “progressive.”
Ottawa writer and cartoonist Raven Foster says she particularly likes the squirrel inclusion.
“We’ve got squirrels in Lansdowne Park,” explains Foster. “Watching them run around and collect nuts has given me at least five minutes of joy, which is five minutes more than Mike Harris gave me in his entire political career.”
Lifelong North Bay resident Grant Reeves feels the same way, but about the cushion.
“The cushion may be old, flat, and full of stale farts,” says Reeves, “but at least it hasn’t tried to privatize anything.”