From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
NORTH BAY – Inspiration – it’s a thing that people like for some reason. From the motivational speeches of Tony Robbins, to the fraudster that is Prince Ea, people love listening to others who want to profit off of their insecurities.
And this attractive agriculturalist of the North wants a piece of that pie.
“There’s inspirational bakers, and there’s inspirational painters,” explains a tranquil, attractive Ross Boston. “And now there’s me, Ross Boston, and I’m teaching enlightenment, inspiration, and self-motivation using the wonders of landscaping.”
Motivational Lawn Mowing
Boston is “gently preparing” for the summer season where he will be holding traveling workshops. These workshops will include complementary water, motivational speeches, and “inspirational activities” all related to landscaping.
“I’ll be there to show people how to trim their worries by trimming hedges,” smiles a radiant Ross Boston. “I’ll show how one can pull problems by pulling weeds – how one can cut stress by cutting the lawn.”
While the Bob Ross of botanical rousing has his workshops filling up fast, Ross Boston is trying to provide some inspirational previews by posting Facebook videos of him shovelling snow.
“Shovel away your shames,” coos Boston. “Push away your problems. Be the scoop, and piledrive your pain.”
Front Yard Critics
Despite “the fairest of intentions,” some have critisized Boston for using others to complete yard work that he was originally hired to do.
“Some say that I am exploiting people by asking them to do my landscaping work, but it’s not that. What I’m really doing is giving my new friends the tools to they need to make their futures unfurl.”
Boston moves into Warrior Pose II.
“Sad people are like grass; they can’t change unless they want to, or until I use the mower on them.”
“Wait, that came out wrong–”
Spots Still Open
Ross Boston’s Inspirational Landscaping Summer Series of workshops still has spots open. Participants are encouraged to bring their work gloves, hedge trimmers, and lawn mower.
“I’d kindly ask you not to come unless you own a lawn mower,” breathes Boston. “It would be unkind of you, and would seriously mess up my aura and pay check.”