North Bay to pay for new Community Centre with Canadian Tire cash

From: Darren D. MacDonald, staff

Early into 2020, it was confirmed that North Bay would be getting a new Community and Recreation Centre to replace the aging West Ferris Arena.

But with an estimated cost between $30.5 million and $32.6 million, City Council has been forced to look at novel ways to pay.

“Without this new centre, other cities will point and laugh at us,” explains Councillor Vic Tikus. “But we can’t afford it, so instead of spending our hard earned tax dollars, we’ve voted instead to pay with Canadian Tire money.”

The decision wasn’t quickly made: Council debated for hours about using unrolled “Roll Up The Rim” cups or North Bay “Downtown Dollars” instead.

Everyone Will Contribute

But where will City Council find $30+ million in Canadian Tire money?

“We believe that if we look, we’ll be able to find all the CT money we need in the cup holders and ashtrays of citizen vehicles,” says Tikus.

“I’m not saying we’re going to break into vehicles to take it. But I am saying that we control North Bay, and all the cars here are in North Bay, so ergo sum we control your car.”

“If you really think about it, it’s actually unlawful for us not to do this. Also, it’s probably an act of treason for you to question why we want to.”

The city kindly asks that every citizen put all their Canadian Tire money in a ziplock bag and place it on their dash as soon as possible.

A formal “thanks in advanced” letter – signed by the Mayor – is set to be sent out tomorrow.

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