North Bay is getting a Taco Bell!

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

It’s official – North Bay is getting its first Taco Bell!

“This is a big day for North Bay and for its residents” Taco Bell spokesman Warren Stew said Sunday. “We’re so happy to have North Bay be a part of the Taco Bell family.”

Stew shared some of the specifics with The North Bay Bay.

“The new Taco Bell is going to be a Taco Bell Superstore™. Our ‘Search and Bell’ team read about the closure of Sears stores across Canada and noticed that the Sears in North Bay is in a really great spot, so the new Taco Bell Superstore™ will simply move into the old Sears store.”

How much of the old Sears location will the new Taco Bell Superstore™ take up?

“All of it. We’re talking a 100,000 square foot Taco Bell.”

“I know it seems like a lot of space, but once you put in a playground, some space for merchandising, and the restaurant itself, it might actually be a little tight.”

“And of course, the Fresh Beef® Slaughterhouse™.”

The Taco Bell Superstore™’s Fresh Beef® Slaughterhouse™ is Taco Bell’s way of making sure all the beef used in their world-famous tacos and burritos is 100% fresh.

“A great advantage to using the old Sears is how much of what was there can be used. The 100% organic cows can be brought it through the side doors, and the tiled floors will make hosing down and cleaning up a lot easier.”


Adventurous individuals can see the beef for their tacos being made by purchasing tickets for a Taco Bell Superstore™ Fresh Beef® Slaughterhouse™ Moving Walkway Tour℠. A ticket will allow restaurant patrons to step onto a moving walkway which will tour through the Taco Bell Superstore™, including the kitchen, storage rooms, and slaughterhouse.

“The Taco Bell Superstore™’s Fresh Beef® Slaughterhouse™ Moving Walkway Tour℠ believes in allowing our valued customers to see every part of the taco building process” Stew says. “From slaughtering the cows, to butchering the cows, to watching as they are fed into a grinder to become ground beef, we want folks to know exactly what is in their succulent, juicy tacos.”

“So enjoy the beef, and please, try the churros!”

“More Quality Jobs”

Upon hearing the news, North Bay Councillor Grey Terrence made a public statement outside his Callander home.

“Right now, Taco Bell is the greatest thing that could happen to North Bay. Not only will people finally be able to top quality foods like Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuffed Burrito, Creamy Ranch Chicken Loaded Griller, 7-layer Burrito, and famous Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco Supreme, but the opening of a new Taco Bell will provide more quality jobs for North Bay.”

Councillor Terrence was also quick to point out that a new Taco Bell will help solve a lot of the little problems North Bay has.

“This new Taco Bell Superstore™ will employee dozens of fast-food cashiers, cooks, and of course, the butchers and slaughterers in the back. This should give that Canadore faculty something to do other than strike.”

“Problem solved!”

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