North Bay Mall still undisputed social distancing king

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY – Mask mandates are gone, and so are 90% of the stores in The North Bay Mall.

The mall, which formally featured The Source, Northern Occasions, Tan Jay, Sport Chek, Café Botanica, and a dozen other stores that collectively make up what one might consider a “normal mall,” still remains the undisputed king of social distancing.

“I’ve been in here for two hours and I’ve seen three other people,” marvels mall goer Alana Scrivens. “Two were teens on bicycles doing wheelies in front of what was once EB Games, and the other was a bearded man mumbling to himself.”

“I heard they’re making it into an outlet store mall,” continues Scrivens. “But I also heard that, like, five years ago when the last vestiges of worthwhile stores were still desperately clinging to the mall like shrivelling barnacles under a hot sun.”

Still, Scrivens says going to the North Bay Mall has its perks.

“I’m still a bit nervous about Covid, so the social distancing is nice. It’s very quiet, and there’s no rush to get anywhere. And yesterday I learned how to do a wheelie!”

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