North Bay celebrates 1 millionth bike theft

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

Sunday was a day like any other until Gary Sitter had his bike stolen.

Sitter’s bicycle, a white Schwinn, was snatched sometime between 11:15 and 11:35 as Sitter went into Best Buy.

“I’ve had a bike stolen before,” says Sitter. “So I know there is no worse feeling than realizing your bike isn’t where you left it.”

“Or, at least, I used to know that. Now I know there’s a feeling that’s much worse.”

Sitter reported his bicycle stolen immediately. North Bay Police Services invited him into the station to fill out a formal report.

“That’s when the confetti started,” explains Sitter. “The moment I walked through the doors – a shower of streamers, a dozen party horns, and someone singing Queen’s ‘Bicycle’ but as a samba.”

The NBPS explained that they were celebrating the city’s 1 millionth bike theft.

“It didn’t make me feel any better,” says Sitter.

Grand Prize Winner

North Bay Police Sergeant Jeanette Lawrence explains that the city has to celebrate the millionth bike theft “because there’s no way we’ll ever celebrate the millionth bike recovery.”

“Our bicycle recovery generally works at a 20 to 1 ration, so it’ll be 200 years before we can ever celebrate the millionth bike recovery.”

“And that confetti wasn’t going to keep forever.”

Gary Sitter says the celebration was little comfort.

“It made everything much, much worse, actually. Do you know what the prize was for being the owner of North Bay’s 1 millionth stolen bicycle?”

“A bike helmet. A F##KING BIKE HELMET!”

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