New North Bay Casino Eyeing Possible Strip Club

From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn,

NORTH BAY — North Bay may soon be home to something a little more risqué.

Gateway Casinos, the company behind the soon to be opened Cascades Casino in North Bay, has expressed interest in opening a Strip Club inside the hall.

“It’s a natural fit,” says Gateway Financer Merle Orson. “Cascades is a $30 million facility spanning over 39000 square feet. It’s massive, and it’s going to be home to an eatery and buffet, as well as the hundreds of people who will come for games and entertainment every day.”

“Adding a little titillation to the mix can’t hurt.”

Stripping For Money

The Strip Club, which will work closely with Cascade’s Eatery & Buffet, will offer all different kinds of strip.

“There will be turkey, beef, chicken, pork, and vegetable strips of course,” explains Orson. “But I’m hoping we can offer local duck, deer, and moose to make the Strip Club even more tantalizing.”

Orson says that VIP club membership would be $24.99 a month.

“With that membership you get all-you-can-eat strips and special seating at the stripping tables. There, chefs will prepare the strips you choose right in front of you.”

“Tips would be welcome and encouraged.”

Now Hiring

Those chefs and culinary wizards looking to be a part of Cascade’s Strip Club are asked to forward their resumes to [email protected] 

“Management has asked that we advise people not to send bikini pictures and NSFW images,” says Orson. “They seem to be getting a lot of those for some reason or another.”

“I’d also like to ask you, personally, not to publish this article with a misleading title. The last thing I want is for someone to just read the headline and then share this in an outrage.”

“I know that almost never happens, but I just want to be safe.”

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