The North Bay Bay

From: Jeff Hurly, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

Jordan Riddler used to be afraid of COVID-19, but no longer.

“Feels good being nine times immune,” smiles Riddler. “Old ‘rona ain’t ever getting in these veins. I’m sealed up tighter than a duck’s butt in cold water.”

The North Bay local says he managed to get nine different COVID-19 vaccinations from nine different locations last week.

Riddler slaps his arm and smiles.

“I’ve got some Pfizer, I’ve got some Moderna, I’ve got some AstraZeneca, and even got a few no name brands just sloshing all around in here.”

 “Of course all of them are full of horrible things that would kill any normal man, but I’m smart so I rubbed a raw potato on the injection site to remove the bad toxins and keep the immunity.”

Have Arm, Will Travel

Riddler won’t say exactly how he managed to get nine separate vaccines in a time when they are in short supply, but he did hint that “it took a lot of travel.”

“I had to drive to different places to get them, but I didn’t mind. I stopped lots along the way to talk to people and do some shopping.”

“Course, I kept a low profile,” whispers Riddler. “Didn’t want anyone tracking me. I drank 5 cups of chaga tea after the injections – that gets rid of the microchips, you know.”