The North Bay Bay

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY — Many businesses have been struggling since the start of the pandemic, and many more are looking for leaders to assure them that everything is going to be okay.  

One North Bay leader has extended an olive branch – and wants those olives taken off, pitted, sliced and put on a pizza.

Getting That ‘Za

North Bay City Mayor Al McDonald has announced that he is investing $20 000 of his own money into the businesses of North Bay.

But only if they serve pizza.

“I think this is the right thing to do,” says McDonald. “I have money and need food – they have food and need money. It’s a little thing called business.”

Kneading the Dough

In response to McDonald’s investment strategy, some businesses who don’t normally cook food have started making pizzas to entice the Mayor into spreading some of the wealth their way.

“When I started my hand-made winter apparel store, I never imagined that I’d be heating up some Make-At-Home Greco’s pizza kits in order to get money from the Mayor,” says Jane Hunter, owner of Get Down, Make Glove.

A Piece of the Pie

“I want to see businesses in North Bay succeed,” says McDonald, “and I’m sure there’s other ways to do that, but… Well, daddy needs his chicken, banana pepper, and pineapple pizza. It’s the best pizza ever made.”

“I call it ‘The Téléfrançais!’” smiles McDonald, “because it’s weird, unsettling and has Ananas.” 

McDonald has already invested $1500 in pizza orders and plans to invest much more over the next 5 months with a 30% tip ratio.

“Like, why is Ananas living in a junkyard, and why do these kids think that hanging out in a junkyard with a sentient pineapple is a suitable activity?”

“These are the questions we should be answering. These are the real problems we face.”