Mayor celebrating Boxing Day by challenging entire city to fight

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY — Mayor Al McDonald has issued a “city wide” challenge to “anyone brave enough to meet him in the ring.”

“This Boxing Day, we’re going back to our roots,” teethes McDonald through his mouth guard. “See, people think Boxing Day is about getting the best deal. It’s not. Boxing Day is all about the great sport of boxing, so if anyone is looking for a deal, I’ve got two big red gloves that say Deal With This.”

“I mean that literally. I had a nice lady at Sew What? stitch ‘Deal With This’ onto both of my gloves.”


City Hall Showdown

McDonald and his team have converted the third floor City Hall board room into a 16′ x 16′ boxing ring, using garden hoses for ring ropes and podiums for turnbuckles.

“Do you have grievances?” asks McDonald as his trainer squirts water into his mouth and checks his eyes. “Well, now’s the time to air them. Come on up, strap on some gloves, and go 12 rounds with your duly elected Mayor.”

“You put me on the mat, and your issue will be first on the docket next City Council meeting.”

The Current Record

Those looking to have Mayor McDonald bring up their issues should “be prepared for more than a “quick jab and gab” says new city intern Adrian Cheek.

“He’s (Al) currently sitting at a 12-1-1 record, with 9 TKOs to his name,” says Cheek. “And that’s just from this morning.”

“I’m a little concerned because he hasn’t left the ring since 6am. I’m even more concerned because at some point, when no one was watching, Al somehow got super ripped  and learned to box.”

“I’m also very, very concerned with how indiscriminate Al’s been. I’m all for equal opportunity, but he didn’t hesitate at all before knocking out old Mrs. Mathers in Round 3 earlier today. I think she was hoping to talk to him about snow removal.”

“To her credit though, she did last two rounds longer than Jay Aspin.”

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