From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
NORTH BAY — The string of break and enters in North Bay continues after thieves broke into the North Bay Mall last night. But in a surprising turn, the thieves didn’t take anything – instead, they left something behind.
Sergeant Jeanette Lawrence of North Bay Police Services announced earlier this morning that the would-be thieves wrote and posted a note.
“I can confirm that three individuals forced open an East-facing door around 3:30 am last night” says Lawrence. “But I’m also happy to report that nothing was stolen or damaged.”
The note, which Lawrence describes as “readable,” was left taped to the front doors of the former Urban Planet.
“I’m releasing the contents of the note to the general public,” announced Lawrence, “in the hopes of catching the perpetrators of this crime.”
The note is as follows:
“Dear North Bay Mall,
What the hell?
When Dave said we should break into the mall, we thought it was the best idea ever. We’d be able to get new clothes and headphones and all sorts of good stuff but where did everything go? What happened to the mall?!
Where’s the Source and all the clothing stores and holy crap even the card store is gone? Where the hell is Sportschek? We need two right legged goalie pads and now we’ve got nothing but two lefts and Dave wanted to be the next Carey Price and you can’t do that with two left pads and now Dave is sad.
I mean stealing wise I guess there’s a Hart in here but none of us want a cheap kayak or a tv that will last 2 years tops and we all agreed to not touch the tea shop cause the people in there are really nice. We’re not going to Bluenotes because they never have jeans in our size and we already have God of War so EB is pointless. That leaves – what – the dollar store? Yay cheap paint for everyone!
Thanks for nothing mall. God, I really hope they do make this place into an arena. At least then Dave will get his goalie pads.
Anyone with information on the break-in are encouraged to call the Crime Tip hotline at 1-202-555-0157.