Local man tries (and fails) to negotiate with intruding spider

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

Peter Jameson recently called the cops when negotiations with a spider in his house fell apart.

The day progressed like any other day, with Jameson watching TV for ungodly long periods. 

“I sat on the other couch, you know, to switch things up, and I saw it,” recounts Jameson. “There was a spider in the top corner of the room. It was above my eye level, so it started off in the position of power.”

“I tried negotiating with the spider, but it rejected all of my offers, crawling closer and closer to me. When negotiations fell apart, it launched itself at me and I fled.”

Getting Informed

Spider on home owner violence is one of the leading causes of leaving a room alone for a day or two until the spider is no longer in sight. 

“It has an emotional toll on the homeowner, who, quite frankly, spends too much money to be bullied in their own home,” says North Bay Police Sergeant Jeanette Lawrence. “We take these calls very seriously: otherwise, what even is the point of having a police force in North Bay?”

Arachnid Anarchy

“I offered it a lot of leeway; it gets to eat all of the bugs it wants, and I won’t kill it,” says Jameson. “But it called my bluff and decided to turn violent.  I have been locked in my bathroom for days with a can of bug spray, hoping that the white walls give no chance for it to sneak up on me.”

If you feel that a spider in your home is causing you distress make sure to call the cops.  Don’t call 911, but the new spider related number 888.  Spider on homeowner crime is not to be taken lightly. 

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