Kitchenomics changing name to “China Stuffs”

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY – Kitchenomics is changing its name to “China Stuffs.”

The housewares store says the move is “the logical next step” in its “deep desire to label everything by its suspected point of origin.”

“You may have heard about a certain ‘Store Hours’ sign we put up a little while ago,” says manager Ted Way. “Well, we figure if we double-down and name everything after the country it came from then the sign can’t be racist.”

“Then it’s just the facts.”

A Knife By Any Other Name

Way says the name “China Stuffs” comes from the contents of the store.

“Since 95% of the stuff we sell comes from China, we thought we ought to have the name reflect what’s offered inside.”

But the business isn’t stopping with a simple name change. The store will also be renaming all of its goods by where they were manufactured.

“We’ve got authentic Chinese Pizza Stones, real Chinese Ovens, Chinese Presses, Chinese Knives, and Chinese George Foreman Grills.”

“Please Come In”

Way hopes the name change will attract new customers.

“I know it seems confusing at first,” says Way, “and to be honest it still does.”

“But please, come in and shop. Or at the very least please stop posting bad reviews online – because I’m getting really, really tired or having to delete them.”

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