Jogger at Gd2Go probably greatest person in all of North Bay

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY — A jogger who showed up to the Foran St. Gd2Go is likely the greatest person in North Bay.

Several eyewitnesses have come forward to relay the story of the “finest individual to ever grace our city.”

“I was in the Gd2Go this morning enjoying my bread-less veggie egg popper,” says regular, everyday citizen Guylaine Thauvette. “It was around 8:30 am, and in jogs a woman. She’s in her mid-thirties and is wearing really nice clothes that have clearly come from The Farm, where I’m sure she shops frequently.”

“She orders a full-sized high protein berry blaster smoothie, which costs $13. While the staff are blending the smoothie, she makes small talk with them. Asks them how they’re doing, how the store is faring. I think she made a joke because I heard some laughs. Then, when she gets the smoothie, she TIPS THE STAFF $5.00.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it in North Bay. Not only is this woman wearing ethically sourced and local clothing, but she’s physically active, financially generous, and polite.”

Further Travels

Witnesses say that the mystery jogger then left Gd2Go and headed toward Algonquin Ave., where she actually used the lights to cross, waving thanks to the cars that stopped.

From there it appears the jogger, wearing a hydration pack from Active Running, moved to Main St., briefly stopping to say hello to an elderly couple walking their dog and give a thumbs up to someone retouching the rainbow painted courtesy walks. She then disappeared into Waxman, presumably to support another local business.

“I’ll be honest, I feel like trash,” says eyewitness Shawna Alvey. “It’s 10 am and I’m sitting in a Tim Hortons in my pajama pants eating a poutine. I don’t even know where The Farm is, I ran two reds getting here, and I’m pretty sure my shirt is from Wal-Mart.”

“I wish whoever she was would leave North Bay,” frowns Alvery. “She’s setting the bar too high.”

“What the hell does Waxman sell, anyways? Candles?”

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