From: Margaret Massey and Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca
NORTH BAY – City Councillor Vic Tikus believes that bicycle lanes are “a privilege.”
“When we added bike lanes to the city it was with the understanding that cyclists would use them and be respectful,” says Tikus. “But I still saw bicyclists everywhere – on the roads, on the sidewalks, weaving through parking lots.”
“So I said enough is enough. It’s time to militarize the homeless.”
Cycle-Centric police Force
In a motion only opposed by Scott Robertson, City Council approved the use of North Bay’s homeless as a “voluntary cycle-centric police force.”
“Basically, we’re offering rewards to homeless individuals who watch for bicyclists that aren’t in bicycle lanes and tackle them.”
Tikus says the program begins August 22nd.
“We’ve also partnered with two local thrift stores to supply the most promising homeless tacklers with hockey pads and sports equipment to help take those naughty bicyclists down a spoke.”
Problems Solved
Bike riders worried about being tackled off their bike should be, says Tikus.
“Stay on the bike lanes and you’ll be fine. Deviate, and prepare to be crushed.”
Tikus says the program “deals with two problems at once.”
“It solves everything. Dangerous cyclists threaten everyone, and the homeless become a natural resource rather than a city-wide issue.”
“Everyone wins!”
Sweet finally my dogs and I have to walk in the bike lanes at the waterfront it’s the only place we can walk without worry of bicyclists spinning by us.
Is this a joke?
How will this solve things?
It will only endanger both sides involved and create more problems.
“Deviate or prepared to be crushed” ?? Council needs to wake up and think about practical solutions.
The comment before this also makes me shake my head because now someone is happy they can walk their dogs in the bike lane safely. That is also part of the problem because people are walking on the bike paths and bike lanes so it forces the bikers on the roads if they want to ride safely. Now cyclists have to worry about dangerous drivers and being tackled by a homeless person that has been given hockey equipment and deemed police force. Wow. North bay has hit a new low.
I hope this gets revoked before someone gets seriously injured.
Ok this is a joke.
Thank god.
You never know with North Bay council sometimes!