Hard drugs found in Halloween candy

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY — Police are investigating after pieces of Halloween candy were found to contain hard drugs.

“Police responded to several calls Wednesday night reporting that candy children had brought home might contain illegal narcotics,” say Police Sergeant Jeanette Lawrence. “A search of the candy revealed that multiple pieces contained a wide variety of drugs.”

Tracy Bancroft, mother of one of the children, was dismayed by the discovery.

“Josh and his friend Cody brought home two big bags of candy,” says Tracy. “I told him I wanted to check the bag in case something had been tampered with, and I’m glad I did, even if it upset Josh and his friend.”

“Yeah, they were really angry,” says Josh’s father Eric. “Not about the candy being meddled with, though. They were more upset about the search.”

“Josh went into a tirade about the how it was ‘morally wrong’ for us to be searching their candy, and about the ‘unethical treatment of children by their parents as it pertains to personal belongings.'”

“I’ve honestly never had a child lecture me on being a ‘conscientious parent,’ but if this is what they’re teaching in schools then I need to talk to Doug Ford.”

Six Other Homes

Six other homes also reported finding drugs.

“After a while, we began to see a pattern,” says Sergeant Lawrence. “Each house reported finding something in their children’s Halloween candy, and each bag was full of various drugs.”

Lawrence estimates that out of the 100 or so pieces of candy in each bag, nearly twenty contained some sort of illegal substance.

“We also found two full-sized Coffee Crisps stuffed with Canadian twenties,” says Sergeant Lawrence.

“I’m still not sure what to make of that.”

A “Single Block”

Sergeant Lawrence confirmed that the police have narrowed the source of the drugs down to a “single block” in the Airport area.

“We’re investigating the source now, and believe we have it down to a few houses around Surrey Drive.”

Eric Bancroft was shocked by the news.

“That’ insane!” says Eric. “Josh’s best friend Cody lives on that street.”

“His parents are nice people too. Beautiful house, two great cars. They throw these amazing parties and travel a lot. I sure hope they’re alright. I can’t possibly imagine anyone on Airport ever having anything like that.”

“Everybody knows the rich don’t do drugs.”

Street Value

Police estimate that each bag of candy contained between $500 to $2000 worth of drugs.

“Not even close,” says Josh Bancroft. “Ain’t nobody selling that stuff so cheap. Not here in the Bay. Each bag had at least three grand worth of merch.”

“Er, not that we’d know,” says Josh’s friend Cody. “We’re just a couple of kids treat or treating.”

“We went around on Airport because it was where all the good stu– er, good candy was. Is. Where the good candy is.”

Cody leans in close.

“Seriously though, just give us back our stuff. We’ll… we’ll dispose of it ourselves. We made this problem and we’ll fix it. Kapish?”

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