Giant pterosaur attacking everyone in North Bay

From: Philip St. George, staff

Lucille Carver remembers when she first heard reports of a dog-nabbing bird in North Bay.

“I was so scared for my little puppy, and for others too.”

But now as a carnivorous, thirty foot wide prehistoric pterosaur terrorizes the city, Lucille wishes it was only small dogs.

“I’d give anything to have the pterosaur leave us alone. Even my puppy. Wait. Do you think it would leave if I gave it my dog?”

“I’m being serious here.”

The pterosaur, which emerged from the icy waters of Lake Nipissing, has been on a rampage throughout North Bay. Destroying public property and eating at least seven men, the flying reptile has caused havoc and left destruction through the city.

Missy Aden, who was at the Cassell’s Tim Hortons Saturday morning, told The North Bay Bay about her and her 16 year old son Johnny’s brush with terror.

“Johnny was locked safely inside our prized 2003 Grand Am when I saw this gigantic bird thing fly down and perch on top of the car. It grabbed ahold of the roof and peeled it right off like the lid on a tin can. Next thing I know, it’s got Johnny and I’m still waiting in line for my morning Timmies and when I finally got my coffee they made it wrong. R.I.P. Johnny.”

The Great Pterosaur

Local scientist Headley Constant was hesitant to speculate as to exactly what kind of pterosaur the flying lizard could be.

“Listen, I don’t know,” continued Constant. “Between the 80 foot tall Vic Fedeli and that Seagull Man out on the beach, North Bay has gotten kinda weird.”

When pressed, Constant thought that “it could be a quetzalcoatlus, or a pterodactyloidea, or a rhamphorhynchus, or maybe it’s just a large owl with a squirrel and this whole thing has been blown out of proportion on Facebook.”

But Teri Turner know this isn’t the case.

As self described “animal lover,” Teri changed her Facebook group “Rusty’s Page – Helping lost pets get help” to “Animal sacrifices for the Great Pterosaur!!!” on Sunday.

“The only way we can ever please the Great Pterosaur is by offering it sacrificial dogs” reads Turner’s Facebook group. “And cats. Pets. It wants our pets, and it won’t leave until it has eaten every last one.”

Turner is now organising a day of sacrifice.

“On Wednesday at 1 pm, everyone must meet outside the library with their family pets. We will then feed them to the Great Pterosaur. Only then will it leave North Bay and grant us all unknowable power.”

The North Bay Bay will update this article as more speculation is posted on Facebook.

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