From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
NORTH BAY – An independent study has confirmed what everyone suspected: the Gateway Home Hardware is staffed by demi-gods and literal saints.
The unassuming red and grey building also appears to be a pocket universe, containing an endless treasure trove of useful things.
“At first I thought the study was a joke,” explains researcher Katy Page. “But after three weeks of study, I’m convinced that everyone in that building possesses superhuman abilities and the structure itself is bigger on the inside.”
Page says she physically examined the building outside, before being asked if she wanted a tape measure by one of the staff who then let her measure the inside too.
Then they let her keep the tape measure.
“Who just gives away a tape measure?” exclaims Page.
Not Humanly Possible
Page tested Gateway by buying over $1000 worth of items and returning them the next day, where the items were happily received and Page’s money quickly returned.
“They didn’t even bat an eye.”
Page began requesting increasingly outlandish items, only to have all items found.
“One day I asked for the most obscure, tiny, strangest looking plastic coupler known to man and James found it in under a minute,” says Page. “How is that humanly possible?”
“That’s right – it’s not.”
Secret Still Safe
Katy Page originally planned to publish her findings, but is now unsure about how they will be received by the scientific community.
“I don’t think anyone outside of the city is going to believe me on this one,” sighs Page.
I hav always said if you need something and you can’t get it at Gateway Home Hardware it’s most likely not made. 🇨🇦
We have going there since 1965 always reliable. Excellent staff
This article is so funny in the fact that we all know it to be true. If gateway home hardware doesn’t have it, you don’t need it. Their help and expertise is matched by none. A business I am proud to support.
As a home hardware employee I can confirm… I am a mortal among The demi Gods of Olympus, or was it Hades. hard to tell sometimes
Way to go James and family! That’s what I heard long ago! If it’s not there it’s either no longer made or you don’t need it!
North Bay Bay has done some really cool things but this just might be the coolest.
That’s awesome business right there!
Last December I asked one of the staff to help me get down a crock pot that was beyond my reach. Not only did she get my item, but she carried it to the checkout line and waited with me because my arms were full of other purchases! Where else in this day and age can you get that kind of service? Yay, Gateway Home Hardware!
This is very common of Home Hardware’s ,
run like a family business and treat everyone with helpfulness and kindness!
Another great one is Henry’s top of Algonquin….for the size it has everything you just need to hunt!
But the best by far
Wilsons Home Hardware in Mattawa run by My cousins, 5th generation now!