Fanny’s premieres 52 dancer Philharmonic Orchestra

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY — The Fanny’s Philharmonic Orchestra, a 52 person instrumental ensemble made up entirely of exotic dancers, is set to play its first concert.

Conductor and promoter JP Cormier says that The Fanny’s Philharmonic Orchestra has been years in the making and that no one should be shocked by its creation.

“Fanny’s has always been full of talented women,” says Cormier. “It takes incredible dexterity and skill to perform the way the girls do, so it’s natural to expect the same proficiency can be applied to playing the clarinet, trumpet, or bassoon.”

“In fact, we’ve got an extensive brass section filled with incredibly talented players. Raven can handle any horn you give her, and the way Brandy blows the trombone will give you shivers.”

The string section, which Cormier says the players are affectionately calling the “G-String Section,” is headed by concertmaster “Anastasia.”

Dressed in black leather, Anastasia says the G-String Section is currently “serviceable,” but improving.

“The girls have been training hard between dances to get the hang of their instruments,” says Anastasia. “They have come far, but I demand more.”

Anastasia spots a dancer staring off and cracks her riding crop.

“Bambi! Practice – NOW!”

First Show

For their debut show, The Fanny’s Philharmonic Orchestra will be performing for The Marina Point Retirement Home.

The pieces set to be played are Gustav Mahler’s Symphony No. 6 in A Minor, followed by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker.”

“The first symphony is an incredible musical exploration of tension and beauty,” says Anastasia. “A veritable sonic expedition of brooding brass sections and thrilling, Elysian strings, culminating in an exquisitely thrilling climax.”

“‘The Nutcracker’ is more of an excuse for the girls to dress up as fairies to try to get some tips.”

Future Possibilities

Cormier says playing the Marina Point is just the beginning.

“I know Anastasia has been working on something big,” says Cormier. “Anastasia, along with Candy, Brandy, Tandi, Bambi, Cherry, Sherry, Terri, and Berry have been working on an original musical composition all of their own.”

“Oh, that tattletale,” smiles Anastasia. “Giving away all my secrets. Well, I am working on something with the girls. It’s a four movement piece in C Major that will come complete with an arietta, ritornello, and cadenza, all played velocissimo – not unlike some of Strauss’ or Dvorak’s work.”

“We are calling it a Strip-phony.”

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