Enraged Tignanelli melts local news site’s servers with laser

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY– Today we learned a lesson: never expose a City Councillor who has access to a destructive high energy weapon.

At approximately 5:05 pm on Thursday, April 30th, Marcus Tignanelli’s space laser, otherwise known as “Cindy,” fired on The North Bay Bay’s servers.

The intense blast effectively shut down the site’s hosting, while also scaring a little old lady who was just trying to watch Wheel of Fortune.

Fortunately, The North Bay Bay team was able to restore the website in just under 3 hours with the help of several locals whose names are being withheld for safety reasons.

If anyone has spotted City Councillor Marcus Tignanelli, please do not approach him – he is armed and extremely dangerous.

Marcus, if you’re reading this, know that we have kidnapped your beloved cat Azrael and will exchange her for the controls to Cindy.

That’s right: your cat for your laser.

To the citizens of North Bay, we promise to only use the floating death cannon for good and for occasionally BBQ’ing some tasty burgs.


The North Bay Bay Team

“The news source you can blindly trust”
(especially if you happen to get blinded by a high powered laser)

Feel free to share!