Drag Show a Success! Car Enthusiasts Confused

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY — Hosted by “Miss Communication” and with beats by DJ Rob, last night’s “Don’t be a Drag: Come on Out!” show was a smashing success.

With over 300 attendees, the drag show saw over a dozen Kings and Queens take the stage for two acts of dancing, singing, strutting, and gyrating. Performers included Ginger Peach, Phoenix, Alex Uptight, Aidan, Peaches and Cream, and Lady Wood.

Sponsored by local businesses like Long & McQuade and groups like Amelia Rising, the full-out drag show drew a loud, enthusiastic capacity crowd at The Grande.

But not all the attendees knew what they were in for.

“Not what I was expecting”

Mistaking the Drag Queen Show for a Drag Race Show, seven drag race drivers and enthusiasts showed up ready to talk spark plugs, nitrous, and burnouts.

But instead of car bodies, they were greeted by hard bodies.

“It was… not what I was expecting,” says drag car enthusiast Garnet Leyton. “I don’t– to be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to the boys, let alone my wife.”

But Leyton didn’t need to explain it to the boys.

“I was a little disappointed” says driver Adam Cartel. “At first.”

“But then watching Bailey Legal do a full front split from standing turned me around.”

“I mean—damn. And that Kiki Peaches routine? Girl had me lit up like a Christmas tree!”

Back for the Next Show

Fellow driver Hudson Towner shared Cartel’s sentiments.

“I felt a little silly,” says Towner. “I brought a custom V8 engine, complete with MSD crank triggers, jesel lifters, calico bearings, rocker arms, BME pistons and a custom oil pump on the back of my truck. I figured it would be the star attraction, until Xena’s ‘Work Bitch’ routine blew the goddamn roof off the house.”

“Watching that act was like watching a 900 horsepower top fuel dragster with a 500 cubic-inch Hemi engine rip down the track while eating an ice cream sundae.”

All the drag drivers said they would be back for the next show, and one even declared interest in being a part of the show.

“I’ve got a great idea for a Queen,” says drag car enthusiast Jep Cockburn. “I’ll have a checkered flag and a sweet jumpsuit with all my sponsors on it.”

“Just need to come up with a name. I’m thinking D Swift, but I also like Draggy Poppins, Honda Rousey, Roseanne Carr, and Sparky Plugg.”

“Whatever her name is, I can guarantee she’ll go from 0 to 100 in a second flat.”

All proceeds for the “Don’t be a Drag: Come on Out!” show went towards North Bay’s Pride Week and to ensuring that North Bay continues to move toward being a safe place for those in the LGBTQ2+ community.

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