Breaking News: Doug Ford has legal pad of pointless lockdown names

From: Darren D. MacDonald, staff

NORTH BAY — As the province moves through its 3rd lockdown, Ontarians are wondering if there is an end in sight.

To help alleviate fears, North Bay MPP Vic Fedeli recently took questions regarding the lockdown. But one answer revealed something incredible – Doug Ford has a legal pad of assorted ideas and names for lockdowns.

“Well, the first lockdown came out of nowhere, so he scrambled and just had colour,” explains Fedeli. “The second lockdown was called ‘Circuit Breaker’, which was like a cyberpunk type of theme.  Now we are onto the ‘Tokyo Drift’ of lockdowns – Emergency Brake.”

Future of Themed Lockdowns

Some additional ideas outlined include “Zoo,” “Golden Age of Hollywood,” and “SteamPunk” themes for future lockdowns.

“Doug sort of sees the lockdowns like his own ‘The Fast And The Furious’ franchise. They’ll just keep coming, and he’ll change small things, but ultimately each will be exactly the same (though a bit less effective than the last).”

Keep an eye open this fall for “Lockdown – The Lockening: This Time We Mean Business…es can stay open.”

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