Deep Cut Festival apparently not about butchering things

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY — Two local butchers were disappointed Saturday when they found that the Deep Cut Festival was not about cutting up meat.

“Turns out it was a film show,” says butcher Randy Cornett.

The festival showed almost two dozen indie and niche films, but “not a single one was about how to properly prepare a carcass for consumption.”

“I figured with a name like ‘Deep Cut’ there’d at least be some information about proper incisions, or how to sharpen a knife, or something, but nope — it was movies about robots and werewolves and fishmen and stuff.”

Happened Before

Festival organizer Dave Briggs says this isn’t the first time this has happened.

“When the festival was in Kitchener, we had a dozen or so incidents with local butchers showing up,” explains Briggs. “More often though, it was vinyl enthusiasts brings their favourite records.”

“I’m glad none came this time around – if I had to listen to ‘My Pal Foot Foot‘ one more time I’d probably butcher someone myself.”

Still, Randy Cornett says he was dissatisfied with the festival.

“I haven’t been this disappointed since I thought the Drag Show was about cars,” says Cornett. “But at least they had a bunch of pretty girls dancing.”

Cornett’s friend whispers into his ear.

“What? They were MEN?!”

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