Chief Commanda hijacking Crimestoppers’ ‘Crime of the Week’

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY — The plucky band of North Bay pirates who hijacked the Chief Commanda II and took it onto Lake Nipissing have been given a Crimestoppers ‘Crime of the Week’ award.

“Y’har, this here award makes my heart swell,” says current Chief Commanda Captain Bishop ‘Two-Teeth’ Bradley. “Though truth be told, that might also be ’cause of the scurvy.”

In the early hours of December 29th, Bradley and six other pirates boarded and commandeered the Chief Commanda II. After spending the day outfitting the Chief with a makeshift ice breaker and two 17th century cannons, the crew then piloted the ship out into Lake Nipissing.

“She’s a stout and hearty vessel, just like me mother,” says Bradley. “Stronger than a garlic milkshake, ma was, and she taught me one thing – you do good and you’ll get rewarded.”

Bradley holds up the 24 carat gold Crimestoppers ‘Crime of the Week’ award and cackles.

Sunk an Entire Fleet

North Bay Police Services are asking for help in detaining Bishop ‘Two-Teeth’ Bradley and any of his crew on charges of piracy, theft over $5000, disorderly conduct, taking a motor vessel without consent, fleeing police, destruction of property, public mischief, and several counts of breach of probation.

Most charges come after Bradley and his crew sunk all of the boats docked at The North Bay Yacht Club.

“Ah, never have I seen such cannon fire or heard such screamin,” smiles Bradley. “Those yacht boys were more nervous than a dentist with both hands inside a biter.”

Bradley chuckles.

“Mayhaps we’ll get next week’s award, too. We can melt it down and trade it for oranges.”

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