Councillor Mark King on city-wide suplexing spree

From: Philip St. George, staff

NORTH BAY – City Councillor Mark King has slapped on a pair of spandex tights and is suplexing everyone who comes near him.

The senior Councillor is currently feuding with the tag-team of Bill and Tanya Vrebosch – otherwise known as Team VreBASH.

“You know something…?” growls a sweating Mark King, “Those two are NOTHING but a couple of roughneck PUNKS.”

King adjusts his bandana and stares into the space where a camera should be.

“They say they WANNA help out Casselholme – but all they do is SNEAK, and CHEAT, and SCHEME and PLAN. Well I’m planning too – planning of suplexing them RIGHT. TO. THE. MOON!”

Unaware of the spandex-clad Councillor, a roving skateboarder is snatched up and hit with a flying German suplex.

As of this posting, King is on hour 19 of his non-stop belly-to-back suplexing spree. He says he will not stop until “Casselholme is made champ” or until the Vreboschs resign.

“SEE THIS TABLE?!” screams King, pointing to a conveniently placed folding table on Main St. “Either COMMIT and SIT or—“

King snap suplexes a panicked postman straight through the table.


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