From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff
NORTH BAY – You’ve heard of “Never judge a book by it’s cover” – but are you prepared for “never judge a beer by its can?”
Mike Garland, a dedicated local guzzler of suds, was given the shock of a lifetime last week when he went for his daily trip to pick up alcohol.
“I saw this rad looking can,” recounts Garland, “it had this, like… mural of art on it. Like a real ‘Where’s Waldo’ for drunks. Stuff like dragons and pandas on it, so I thought ‘How could it not taste amazing?”
Despite the can’s “radical” artwork, Garland says the beer inside was just ‘okay.’
Garland then tried a beer that featured a detailed illustration of a raccoon farting a rainbow flame.
“And that one was even worse!” wails Garland.
This “brewski betrayal” has left a bad taste in Garland’s mouth; figuratively and literally.
“I put most of my faith in the cans. I can’t sample the beer before buying it – lord knows I’ve tried – so when I see a can that has Mario Lopez shirtless and washing Cthulhu, I buy it.”
A cautionary tale for those who are staring down a Graffiti clad can of Blonde Ale: remember; while it might be a treat for your sight buds, it might not be okay on your taste buds.
“Right, but you should have seen the can,” says a now defensive Garland. “Especially the part of the can with Winston Churchill and that Rat King.”