Cash4You overwhelmed with arrival of $1000 Ford hamburger gala

From: Josie Beamish, intern

NORTH BAY — Local cash advance shops were flooded with customers earlier this week as Premier Doug Ford rolled through town with a burger pop-up fundraiser.

Supporters of the Ontario PC Party could meet Ontario’s most famous living burger, Doug Ford, for just $1000. But the price left many local Conservatives scrambling to show their support.

Lineups were out the door at the local Cash4You, with many lower income supporters caught in between paydays.

While the high interest rates and predatory tactics of the industry may seem like red flags to some, most supporters felt taking an advance would pay off in the end.

“I’ve been saving up a new muffler, but how often do you get a chance to buy a $1000 burger from Doug ‘Thousand Pound Gorilla’ Ford?” asks supporter Keenan Rice. “I might have had to stop at another Cash4You to bridge the gap but I can definitely say I feel richer with the PC Party.”

“I’ll have to skip out on rent this month but the burger was worth it,” says Chantel Lum. “I just hope Ford lowers my taxes if he gets re-elected. I’m losing too much to taxes.”

Extra Beef

However, not everyone was impressed as the burgers themselves – reportedly commissioned for a low 5 figure price tag from an as-yet undisclosed manufacturer – were underwhelming at best.

“Buck-a-beer was pretty bad, this is like 1000x that,” laments attendee Sly Martin. “At least I didn’t have to chew Buck-a-Beer as much.”

“It’s fitting this was held at the site of a future long-term care facility,” says former supporter Jim Talon. “Because I’m gonna need it after a reaming of this magnitude.”

Nevertheless, the whole event managed to send a clear message to potential voters in the area: you can’t afford it.

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