From: Briar Lion, community contributor
NORTH BAY — North Bay has a familiar, and controversial, figure joining the mayoral race in the fall.
But don’t let his small stature fool you – he is ready to fight. Wingy McForktail is a sentient shadfly who is tired of the lack of representation in the city.
“I was born and raised right here in North Bay, and in the entirety of my two week life, I have noticed several instances of civic mismanagement,” says McForktail. “There is a lot of work to be done.”
Wingy believes that drastic and meaningful changes can only be made by local candidates.
“I literally sprang from Lake Nipissing – no one can deny my pedigree or devotion to this community as the first openly shadfly candidate.”
McForktail is of course referring to former Deputy Mayor Sheldon Forgette, who was discovered to be 11,000 shadflies dressed as a human.
“And the existence of ‘Shadman’ as a local superhero is culturally insensitive,” says Wingy. “We need citizens to wake up and smell the fishy winds of change.”
Sticking Around
It isn’t all advocacy and lip service for McForktail. He has big plans to benefit infrastructure.
“I will significantly lower the winter road maintenance budget to free up our coffers for the most significant time of year: mid-July. I will focus all of our development efforts on the downtown core, the heartland of our city, by significantly increasing the number of streetlights and electric signs. I will replace the bricks of Main Street with flood lights, so senior shads do not have to fly as high. I will also paint every single building, sign, and vehicle white. This city isn’t white enough.”
“This is the solution to our issues with tourism and youth retention,” surmises McForktail.
“We need to give visitors and young citizens a reason to stick to North Bay: more lights and white objects give everyone a reason to cling to our beautiful city.”
McForktail hopes to live long enough to see justice and progress during his prospective term as mayor.
“The citizens of North Bay need to know that I will be there to love and support them with innovation, transparency, and lots of sticky hugs.”
Newest Candidate Hopes to Soar into Mayorship
NORTH BAY — North Bay has a familiar, and controversial, figure joining the mayoral race in the fall.
But don’t let his small stature fool you – he is ready to fight. Wingy McForktail is a sentient shadfly who is tired of the lack of representation in the city.
“I was born and raised right here in North Bay, and in the entirety of my two week life, I have noticed several instances of civic mismanagement,” says McForktail. “There is a lot of work to be done.”
Wingy believes that drastic and meaningful changes can only be made by local candidates.
“I literally sprang from Lake Nipissing – no one can deny my pedigree or devotion to this community as the first openly shadfly candidate.”
McForktail is of course referring to former Deputy Mayor Sheldon Forgette, who was discovered to be 11,000 shadflies dressed as a human.
“And the existence of ‘Shadman’ as a local superhero is culturally insensitive,” says Wingy. “We need citizens to wake up and smell the fishy winds of change.”
Sticking Around
It isn’t all advocacy and lip service for McForktail. He has big plans to benefit infrastructure.
“I will significantly lower the winter road maintenance budget to free up our coffers for the most significant time of year: mid-July. I will focus all of our development efforts on the downtown core, the heartland of our city, by significantly increasing the number of streetlights and electric signs. I will replace the bricks of Main Street with flood lights, so senior shads do not have to fly as high. I will also paint every single building, sign, and vehicle white. This city isn’t white enough.”
“This is the solution to our issues with tourism and youth retention,” surmises McForktail.
“We need to give visitors and young citizens a reason to stick to North Bay: more lights and white objects give everyone a reason to cling to our beautiful city.”
McForktail hopes to live long enough to see justice and progress during his prospective term as mayor.
“The citizens of North Bay need to know that I will be there to love and support them with innovation, transparency, and lots of sticky hugs.”