From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn, thenorthbaybay.ca
NORTH BAY – Citing the drastic increase in fuel prices, City Council has moved to remove select city buses and replace them with horse and carriage rides.
“We’re looking at a massive amount of savings with every replacement,” says Councillor Grey Terrence. “Horses are cheaper than buses, and to be honest, the average horse is more reliable than half the drivers we have now.”
“It’s probably because none of the horses take smoke breaks. Well, except Mary. But she’s trying to quit.”
But not everyone is convinced.
“There’s going to be manure everywhere and who’s going to clean up that mess?” whines bus rider Anita Life. “My little dog loves rolling in horse manure and who’s going to wash little Coco?”
But Council and Terrence are already planning.
“We are currently taking applications for carriage drivers, and for the Poo Patrol,” explains Terrence. “Poo Patrol members will be given a cart and a shovel and they will clean up all the city’s poop – horse or otherwise.”
“We’ve heard manure is good for planting so we’re also hiring someone to walk around town and dump it into random gardens throughout the city.”
“You’re welcome, North Bay.”