Beaver Tails closes, citing lack of actual live beavers

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY — The local Beaver Tails truck has closed and moved on, citing a lack of “locally accessible” beavers.

The popular pastry franchise has been serving customers since 1978, and wants North Bay to know that the shutdown is only temporary.

“We’ll be back again when the local beaver population recovers,” says local Beaver Tails operator Beck Castor. “You see, we can’t make our delicious, mouthwatering Beaver Tails without a stable population as live beavers play an integral part in the process.”

The Process

“Most people think what we’re making is just a tasty pastries made of eggs, milk, and flour, but what gives Beaver Tails their distinct, addictive flavor, is the actual beaver mixed into the icing sugar.”

Castor smiles.

“No, no, not beaver parts – live beavers. We usually warm up a 50 gallon tub of icing sugar and let five or six of the frisky little critters swim around in it. We find that live beavers really give the sugar its distinct ‘Beaver Tails’ taste.”

“The problem is, the beavers seem to lose their flavour after a couple of dips, so we’re continuously trying to find fresh new beavers to keep the flavour train rolling.”

Castor says that business has been so good that the North Bay Beaver Tails truck has had to shut down for the season.

“We’ve been getting our beavers out of Laurier Woods, but haven’t found a fresh, non-dipped beaver in there since June.”

Back in the Spring

Locals can look forward to more Beaver Tails in the spring, and probably quite a few more beaver dams as well.

“Yeah, they kind of go haywire once you put them in the icing sugar tub,” laughs Castor. “It’s a lot of sugar for a 40 pound rodent to take. Once they’re done swimming, we release them back into the wild.”

“You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a juiced up beaver saw through a full grown maple faster than a sneeze blows through a screen door.”

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