to launch newspaper

From: Jennifer Hanson, staff

NORTH BAY —¬†Following hard on the news that The Nugget will no longer be printing a Monday edition of their local newspaper, announced Thursday morning that it would begin publishing its own daily press.

“We’re very pleased to report that we will begin the publication of a daily newspaper,” reads a statement on the website.

“North Bay deserves this and we’re happy to give it to the city every chance we get.”

$1.25 per paper

The newspaper will be available at convenience stores, Baytoday’s headquarters, and the North Bay Costco set to open in 2042. writer Jim Hurl estimates that the newspaper will be “about 8% news and 92% ads for Farquhar Chrysler.”

“It will also include polls that people can check off, a blank page for people to write their angry rants, and the same fine collection of generic stock photos that North Bay has come to know and love.”

The Height of Professionalism

Readers can expect the same level of decorum and professionalism from a team that took potshots at a failed Mayoral candidate and headlined the Nugget stopping its Monday edition with “Doesn’t drop subscription rates.”

“That’s some North Bay Bay level stuff, there,” says long-time reader Ray Dickens. “They should leave that stuff to the professionals.”

“I’m not sure why they’re celebrating The Nugget having a tough time, because let’s be honest – 80% of is just stuff they’ve stolen and re-worked.”

“And the rest is posts saying ‘Good Morning,’ reporting the weather, and trying to sell their own insurance hotline.”

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