Local news covering up actual giant shadfly attack

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Local scientist Headley Constant wants North Bay to know the truth. “On Monday evening North Bay was attacked by a gigantic shadfly,” declares Constant. “The local news has a photo of the event, but has refused to tell the public the truth. Instead, they’ve been conspiring […]

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City collectively forgets that shadfly season is in three weeks

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Ashley Dukes has been hitting the gym hard these past few months. “I got a World’s Gym membership back in January and I’ve been going 4 times a week,” says Dukes. “And it’s all been for this – a glorious, bikini-clad summer in North Bay!” Ashley believes […]

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Want to eat some shadflies? New “Shaddies” restaurant opens!

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Anyone who’s swallowed a shadfly knows it’s not a pleasant experience. But local entrepreneur and chef Cliff Neil says that’s only because it wasn’t seasoned properly. Cliff is the owner of North Bay’s newest restaurant: Shaddies. “Like the name suggests, we make all of our meals […]

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Video of Man Eaten Alive By Shadflies [WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff —————————————– WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT —————————————–           Footage from three waterfront security cameras have captured an unidentified man being devoured by shadflies. The film was supplied by an anonymous source late Thursday evening. The date of the film is unknown. There have been no Missing Persons reports for the […]

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Shadflies cause lock down

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Long-time North Bayites know what’s coming. As June enters its final two weeks, many locals look to the lake with growing unease. There, they know, wait hundreds of thousands of shadlies. “They get everywhere,” says City Councillor Vic Tikus. “They stick to things. They stick to […]

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Supervillain Seagull King vows to “destroy” Shad Man

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Recent reports of a masked “Shad Man” come as no surprise to super villain “The Seagull King,” a tall man-bird hybrid who regularly stalks the North Bay Waterfront. Speaking to thenorthbaybay.ca on Thursday, The Seagull King began the conversation by demanding a container of sand-covered fries. When provided, King […]

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