Exposé: City Hall is actually a crashed alien spacecraft

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff HANMER — It is 3 am on July 8th, 1976 in the tiny township of Hanmer when a crash “like a thunderclap” wakes local farmer David St. Martin. Investigating the next day, St. Martin finds something incredible – nearly a kilometer of wreckage, and at its center is a “massive ship of […]

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Despite horrific apocalypse, Council says North Bay is fine

From: Rusty “Scoops” McGraw, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY — As meteors descend upon North Bay, painting a Lovecraftian portrait of a fiery hellscape, city council has passed a motion that everything is still perfectly fine. With the recent ascent of THE ONE BEYOND from Lake Nipissing, citizens pleaded for North Bay’s City Council to take action. […]

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City Council declares lack of donuts an “emergency”

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — An impromptu City Council meeting Thursday night was brought to a halt when Councillor Vic Tikus discovered that the meeting was sorely lacking donuts. Having started the meeting with two boxes of a dozen assorted donuts, Tikus discovered that nothing was left but “two Old Fashion […]

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What’s coming up in North Bay

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff Here’s what’s coming up in North Bay over the next few weeks! Top Picks Auto Sales are having a huge sale on all trucks, cars, and vans from February 1st to February 3rd. Every vehicle in the lot will be anywhere from 20% to 50% off. Friendly, helpful staff will be on hand […]

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Council votes in casino and 32 carousel multiplex

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Not everyone on City Council wants a casino in North Bay. “Casinos are nothing but a tax on the poor,” began City Councillor Vic Tikus Wednesday night. “The proposed casino in North Bay is too small to attract shows, but just big enough to take your paycheque.” […]

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