Muskoka Delivery Service invents first ever invisible courier drone

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY – They’ve done it! Local courier company Muskoka Delivery Service has designed and constructed the world’s first invisible delivery drone. “It’s an astronomical feat of ingenuity and engineering,” says local scientist Headley Constant. “Not only have they perfected the four-rotor drone and built it steady enough to deliver […]

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BREAKING: Someone is making all of the North Bay squirrels super buff

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY – Someone has secretly been feeding local squirrels a steady diet of performance-enhancing, nutritionally-dense peanut butter balls to bolster their overall strength and stamina. Every one of the nearly 2000 squirrels being monitored by local scientist Headley Constant are “absolutely shredded.” “I saw the first squirrel two weeks […]

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Local news covering up actual giant shadfly attack

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Local scientist Headley Constant wants North Bay to know the truth. “On Monday evening North Bay was attacked by a gigantic shadfly,” declares Constant. “The local news has a photo of the event, but has refused to tell the public the truth. Instead, they’ve been conspiring […]

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Scientist Discovers Multiverse North Bay

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff An intrepid local scientist has discovered a parallel dimension in which exists another North Bay. “I was experimenting with a quantum mechanic portal I built last weekend” says Headley Constant, “and it opened up a gate to another world. It was all so miraculous and magical until I spotted another […]

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