Council votes to add death laser to roundabout

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — City Council voted 8-2 in favour Tuesday evening concerning the addition of a giant death laser to the College Drive roundabout. “I’ve been driving on the roundabout since it opened in 2009,” says Councillor Vic Tikus, “and I’m comfortable with it. Too comfortable. So to shake […]

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“Death by laser” new penalty for everything

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Having had a motion to explore OPP costing for North Bay fail, City Councillor Richard Prince brought forward a second motion to have all crimes and offences committed in North Bay punishable by laser beam. “North Bay Police Services keeps asking for more money every year,” […]

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Troy Hurtubise Unveils The HurtuHouse Ice Shack

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Troy Hurtubise, the North Bay inventor behind the famous bear proof suit featured in “Project Grizzly,” has announced a new invention. “The HurtuHouse is a water proof, theft proof, bear proof ice shack” declared Hurtubise Monday morning. “It is the greatest ice shack ever built, capable of […]

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Cassells’ Tim Hortons secretly the lair of Dr. Doom, police report

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff After a national search which apparently involved members of the CSIS, CIA, MI5, CIRO, and the North Bay Police Department, Sean Divine, the NBPD Chief of International Relations, has named the Tim Hortons located on Cassells St. as the official lair of Dr. Doom. “It’s obviously his hideout,” surmised […]

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Radioactive dump report/Sasquatch sightings

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Merrick Township — The North Bay landfill was temporarily on high alert Friday as a report of something emitting gamma radiation surfaced. Members of the North Bay Fire Department responded, but determined the emissions weren’t anything to worry about. “It’s just a small dose of gamma radiation,” firefighter Red […]

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City gives filmmakers license to blot out the sun

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff In a long anticipated move, City Council announced today that it would be giving Sienna Films and director Daniel Grou, the force behind the TV series “Cardinal,” a permit to blot out the sun. “I think this is going to be a good thing for North Bay,” a representative […]

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