City vows to win next year’s Code of Silence Awards

From: Philip St. George and Rooster Cogburn, thenorthbaybay.ca NORTH BAY — An “honourable mention” for the 2019 Code of Silence Awards was not enough. “We want to be #1,” says an unnamed, fully masked City Councillor. “Nobody on council is happy with the result, so starting immediately we’re going to get even more secretive.” The […]

Read More »

Mayor celebrating Boxing Day by challenging entire city to fight

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Mayor Al McDonald has issued a “city wide” challenge to “anyone brave enough to meet him in the ring.” “This Boxing Day, we’re going back to our roots,” teethes McDonald through his mouth guard. “See, people think Boxing Day is about getting the best deal. It’s […]

Read More »

Exposé: City Hall is actually a crashed alien spacecraft

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff HANMER — It is 3 am on July 8th, 1976 in the tiny township of Hanmer when a crash “like a thunderclap” wakes local farmer David St. Martin. Investigating the next day, St. Martin finds something incredible – nearly a kilometer of wreckage, and at its center is a “massive ship of […]

Read More »

North Bay Pride March fails to turn violent, hurt anybody

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — For the 7th consecutive year, the North Bay Pride March has failed to turn violent. The Pride March missed several golden opportunities to ostracize, demean or physically assault others because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. But marcher Aubrey Hollands says that doesn’t mean no one […]

Read More »

City selling new premium tablecloths for $173.84 (plus HST)

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The City of North Bay has begun an “exciting new initiative” by offering “premium” tablecloths at City Hall. “These new, high quality tablecloths are going to be all the rage,” says City Councillor Vic Tikus. “They all have a cool, unique, never-before seen green and blue design […]

Read More »

City scraps hotel tax, introduces road tax

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Citing outrage from local citizens, City Council voted 9-2 Wednesday evening to scrap the new hotel tax. The hotel tax, which other cities like Barrie and Sudbury have already implemented, would see hotels charge an extra 4% for those seeking accommodation. The extra charge would have increased […]

Read More »